See you in Hell

bbc

I’m getting ready.

The webbing’s been placed at the foot of the bed. The camo paint tin’s been fully restocked. And this time I’m packing some heavy-duty ear plugs in case I get yelled at nice ‘n close – which is a definite possibility.

Tomorrow night I come face to face with pain. Raw, muscle-twitching, physical pain; the type that commands your attention and makes it impossible to hold another thought; the kind that can leave your complexion ashen. I’ve decided I’ll confront it head on and take what’s coming to me. After all, I’ve done this before.

Tomorrow night at 8:30pm it’s likely I’ll find myself forced to endure torture in a variety of forms: anything  from hooded interrogations designed to break my mental resolve; to having to heave heavy logs across mosquito-infested swamps for hours on end; to command0-crawling  across troughs of stinking pigs guts; to having to force down my throat ‘food’ that would make a billy-goat puke. Allright, that last line is from FIRST BLOOD (1982) but hopefully you’re getting an idea of what’s most likely in store for me and anyone else who dares show up.

Tomorrow night I sit down to watch the first episode of SPECIAL FORCES: ULTIMATE HELL WEEK Series Two and as you can tell from the description above, for me it’s going to be a highly visceral experience.

This UK reality series sees a group of civilians put through two weeks of sleep-deprived military training at the hands of battle-hardened and downright merciless Special Forces instructors, none of whom appear to have a sympathetic bone in their chiseled, strong-as-teak bodies.

Each episode the group is whittled down as individuals are told to pack their bags and leave the camp. Series One, which aired two years ago, was won by a 55 kg, 32-year-old female – Dr Claire Miller, a hospital haematologist from London who also happened to be  a champion duathlete and former rower who once cycled 2,626 miles across Europe to raise money for charity. In winning, she showed a toughness that put many of her male competitors to shame and reignited the debate about whether females should be permitted entry to Special Forces.

Tomorrow night it begins (Channel 22). It’s gonna be rough. It’s going to be brutal. Wish me luck and as they said at the beginning of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN –

“See you on the beach!”

soldier

Winner of Series One – Dr Claire Miller

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