How old can you be and still get away with wearing a band t-shirt?
This is the question I’ve recently begun to ponder for reasons I’ll outline later.
First, lets examine the evidence from the pictures above.
On the left, the guy can get away with it, I’ll contend, simply because he’s with his eleven year old daughter. This pic comes dipped in that unmistakable and readily accepted ‘whacky-Dad’ type vibe. The chap on the right however is not so lucky. He’s chosen to not only accessorize (I imagine my fashion-conscious seven-year old daughter beaming with pride at my use of this word) the t-shirt with a matching cap but then go one step further and assume the trusty hard rocker’s finger salute as well. As a result we’re inclined to wonder if this is someone who might be taking themselves a little too seriously at an age when they probably could be expected to know better. (And no the guy wasn’t off to a KISS concert, he was pictured in the foyer of a movie theatre standing next to a sign advertising the film TERMINATOR 2 in 3D.)
So what got me thinking on this weighty matter in the first place?
A few months ago a chap visited my workplace to inspect the installation of some impossible-to-injure-yourself-on playground equipment. I’d guess he was aged somewhere in his mid forties. He was the foreman. This guy was dressed in steel caps, black denims and… a KISS ‘Destroyer’ (the name of the band’s fifth album) t-shirt. He was tall, lanky and came with the requisite builders tan and face stubble. And I’ll come right out and say it… in that t-shirt, he looked good. Not ironic good. Not trying hard to look good good. Not even good for his age good. Just plain old-fashioned smart. Street smart if you will. Naturally it got me thinking – could I pull off a similar look?
Having the wise money spending habits of a Mexican drug runner with a bank overdraft, I’m not usually allowed anywhere within 50 feet of regular withdrawals from our accounts, but what I am green-lighted for is requests come birthday and special occasion time.
August saw me celebrate the 30th anniversary of my 21st birthday and Christmas is still months away, but I’m happy to report neither of those untimely obstacles has stopped me casting a serious eye over all 109 varieties of KISS t-shirts available from the on-line shop portal of the band’s website. For those of you who are amazed at the news that this group of hard-rockers who near ruled the world back in the 70’s are even still around let alone have an active website, truth is, much to the delight of their millions of fans worldwide, they never really went away.
From those 109 designs, I’ve now reduced it down to choosing from just six.
And before you say “Could you honestly get any more ridiculous?”, let me briefly make the case for why each one has a different reason to recommend it.
A. Wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the words “The Spirit of ’76”, no one could possibly accuse me of not acting my age.
B. With this tastily-inspired Halloween-themed choice at least I’d have a legitimate one day a year I could claim to feel entitled to wear the thing.
C. I have absolutely no ties whatsoever with the country of Italy but I do like the colour scheme. Isn’t that enough?
D. Even the most skeptical among you would have to agree this does tie in rather nicely with my professed interest in movies.
E. Contemporary anyone?
F. Japan and I have a love-affair dating back to the early 2000’s when I lived there for three years so this one is a strong contender.
Bear in mind the last time I wore a shirt bearing the image of a music artist on the front would have been around the summer of ’84 (from memory we’re talking about a little black and white number with Deborah Harry‘s face on it). But life is circular after all, so here I am, 33 years later considering my options.
If you can provide anything resembling clarity on this matter, the comments box is down below, where it always is, awaiting your gems of wit and wisdom.
And to those who think this whole topic is just a bit too adolescent, even puerile, I say – give me some credit. At least I’m not thinking about forking out for a KISS pinball machine!
Ps. On a completely unrelated note, raise your hand if you’ve heard the name Stephanie Chiocci. Could possibly be a slow internet connection but at the moment I’m not seeing many hands up. Stephanie, at age 29, is the inaugural captain of the Women’s Collingwood Football Club. She played in all eight games of the debut Women’s AFL Season that kicked off on February 3rd this year and concluded in late March with Adelaide being crowned as the very first premiers. Next year the competition is set to expand to ten teams with the admission of Geelong and North Melbourne. A Women’s Gold Coast team will join the comp in 2020.
Our favourite Victorian children’s writer Matt Porter has teamed up with Stephanie to publish a fun kid’s adventure story enitled STEPHANIE CHIOCCI AND THE COOPER’S HILL CHEESE GANG. That’s a truly grate (sorry!) title Matt and we hope it’s a runaway success (not sorry that time!). For all the cheese lovers, I leave you with this ode to 80’s duo The Eurythmics and their hit “Sweet Dreams” –
Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Who am I to dis a brie
I cheddar the world and the feta cheese
Everybody’s lookin’ for stilton
That’s right. Doesn’t really work so well unless you know your cheeses and you know the song. Want better? Click here
Pss. Accolades have been flowing in this week for 58-year-old Texas born American writer George Sanders. His debut novel LINCOLN IN THE BARDO has beaten a field of 144 other submitted novels to win this year’s Man Booker Prize. One of the world’s richest literary prizes, the Man Booker has been running since 1969. The ‘Man’ in the title comes from the London investment company that stumps up the prize money each year. Sanders, previously the author of four short story collections, will receive the equivalent of $88 000 (AUD).
LINCOLN IN THE BARD is a story set in a graveyard that unfolds in a single night. The book features narration by a total of 166 different voices. This is at least 150 more than I have currently clamoring in my head. By George that’s definitely what you call fully weaponised characterisation!
In less formal surrounds, George probably wouldn’t be above wearing the occasional Kiss t-shirt himself.